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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23232325">Losing Hop</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonFinch/pseuds/NeonFinch'>NeonFinch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword &amp; Shield | Pokemon Sword &amp; Shield Versions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Cancer, Character Death, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Hospitalization, Love, Love Confessions, Sad Ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:40:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,877</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23232325</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonFinch/pseuds/NeonFinch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hop (Pokemon)/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Losing Hop</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Grey. Everything in the room is grey. Grey walls and grey windows; weak, grey light streaming through them. I sit beside him, holding his hand in mine, noticing how ashen his skin had become. How pale. It’s as if he’s a painting, frozen in time.</p><p>Hop isn’t Hop, anymore. The cancer had made sure of that. Everything about him was usually so vibrant and happy, and full of color. Full of light. Even his eyes blazed with gold hues, always determined to take on the next challenge—that was Hop. Now, he’s just… here. With us, but not.</p><p>Blinking away the sleepiness, I lay my head gently on his chest, listening for his heartbeat. Faintly, it’s there. It doesn’t have any life to it—it just beats hopelessly.</p><p>The time for tears had long since passed. Even if I wanted to cry right now, it’d be impossible—there’s no tears left. Instead, I close my eyes and wrap his body in a hug, wishing my warmth would be enough to heal him. But that’s now how it works. That is obvious. If hugs alone could save him, he’d never hurt again.</p><p>Leon had come and gone. I could see that even he’d given up on his brother, thinking he had no chance of coming back. The last time he was here, he clung to his brother’s side, begging him to wake up, to say something. Standing in the corner of the room was so hard. I wanted him to wake up, too.</p><p>            Leon offered his hand to me, and I took it—it’d been us three since the beginning. He sat crumpled in the floor next to Hop’s bed, a sobbing, empty mess. I ran a hand through his fluffy locks, pressing my lips to the top of his head. “It’s okay, Lee. He’ll come around,” I’d assured him, but it was an empty promise. He clung to my legs and belly and cried, tears streaking my shirt.</p><p>            Now, all is still. I lean back from the bed, and keep his hand in mine, tracing the outline of his fingers. If there were a time to be upfront, this is it. It’s not as if he could hear… could he?</p><p>            “I’m gonna tell you a story, hmm? I’m no much of a storytellae, but I’ll figure it out, yeah?” I rack my brain for something to tell. “Hop, I love you. From the moment we met, I have loved you. Do ye recall when your dumb brother who was all of 12 years old brought your scrawny ass across that bridge to introduce you to my family? Aye, I remember every damned detail. I remember the way you hid behind him, clinging to his pant leg, terrified of me. Some scary person I was, hmm?” Dressed in a simple dress, my hair short and dark at the time. I’m sure my knees were skinned and probably had dirt on my cheek. I wasn’t a very standard little girl for Postwick.</p><p>“I remember reaching out to you, handing you my Eevee plush. You took it so gently and stared back with those gorgeous golden eyes… Arceus, Hop. I knew it then.” I breathe, looking away from him for a moment. “This is all so brash, but I’m going to keep going, aye?” I trail, as if I’m going to receive a response—it pulls at my heartstrings. “I remember sitting in the floor of my living room, watching you read through those picture books, that same day, and listening to you name all of those Pokémon—you jumped right out of your shell in the span of that one day…”</p><p>I huff. “You said, ‘Lee says he’s gonna give one of these to his friend Raihan. It’s an Applin. You know the Applin story, right?’ And I shook my head—I’d never even heard of a wee Applin.” I laugh breathily. “I was almost sure that you made it up, yeah? But eventually I read about it years later. And I can remember your voice, ‘You give an Applin to someone you like a lot. Like, like-like.’ Your little eyes lit up and you stared at me, ‘Maybe someone will give one to me one day!’” I smile sadly, “And I knew I would find one for you. Because I like-liked you. Even at 7, Hop, I knew that. T’was all I knew. Was that I wanted so badly to impress you, to make you like me back.”</p><p>I even remember the curve of his lips as he smiled widely at me, the biggest blush on his cheeks. I’m sure I looked a fool, starting at him with a half-smile. He didn’t know that my heart stuck in my throat that day. “So, I carved you one.” I sigh, fingers intertwined with his. Slowly, I climb onto the bed beside him, holding both his hands in his lap. “It’s not like I could’ve found a real one, I didn’t have a Pokémon yet. But the look on your face, ah! You blushed so damn hard! I thought I broke you.”</p><p>He’s so still and peaceful… just sleeping, it seems. I place a hand on his cheek and lean in, kissing his forehead. “Ah, Hop. I just wish I’d told ye how I really faelt. Maybe this would’na hurt so much.” It’s my fault for not being upfront with him before he got sick. He’d even asked me how I felt, and I still couldn’t tell him.</p><p>
  <em>“It’s… er, it’s terminal, Ghost.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I blink. “Like, you cannae get better?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Nope. They gave me about 6 months, which… really, isn’t too bad.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Too bad? Only 6 months left with this beautiful human being? 6 months with my best friend? I can’t breathe. “Oh… oh, no, Hop.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He hugs me tightly, coughing. “At least we have an estimate, right? And I’ll feel okay up until the last month or so, so we just keep going like normal! I want to finish the Gym Challenge...but I want to finish it with you.” His golden eyes are serious as they search mine.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well o’course! I could’na imagine it with any—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m cut off as his lips press to mine, and I can’t help but melt into him. He’s so warm, so inviting...I give in and hold him tightly, tears beginning to well in my eyes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Huffing, he swallows hard, “I love you, Ghost. I couldn’t hold it back anymore, I…now knowing that I don’t have much time left…” He trails, as if begging me to say something.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Aye, erm. Not bad fer a first kiss, yeah?” I have no idea how to say how I feel. “I… I love you too, Hop.” But love isn’t enough of a word—there’s so much underneath I want to express. So we kiss again, and he’s the one crying this time.</em>
</p><p>We both made it to semi-finals, and I let him win. It was by a margin so slim that I hoped he didn’t know. Of course he couldn’t beat his brother, but he felt okay about that. He knew that was a hard one going in anyways.</p><p>Now, I look at him, and I feel empty. How am I supposed to let him go? I decide that right now, with his heart still beating, I’m taking it in, one moment at a time. Leaning down, I lie my head on his chest and curl myself around him, listening. Fragile, his heart keeps going. Just like him—he keeps going. At this point, I just need a goodbye. I know there’s nothing we can do to fix it, but to just tell him, to let him know… I slide my arm underneath his pillows to cradle his head, and my fingers brush a small object. Slowly, I pull it out and blink, gasping.</p><p>It’s the Applin. The same one I carved all those years ago. I hold it in my hands and give a small smile, holding it tightly to my chest. He’d kept it. Relaxing, I close my eyes and cherish the feeling of his heart beating next to mine, and take in whatever time we have left.</p><p>I don’t know how long I’m out, but I groggily wake up with a gentle hand patting my hair. “Lee?”</p><p>I whisper, still not opening my eyes. “I’m sorry… I know they said not to jostle him too much, but I had to hold him, I just…” I trail. The hand shakingly brushes my hair from my face, and a huffing is heard.</p><p>“It’s me,” Weakly.</p><p>My heart jumps into my chest as I bolt upright, staring at Hop.</p><p>Indeed, it’s him. Half smiling and eyes half-lidded, he puts his hand on mine and chuckles. “I thought I was the only one allowed to touch your hair, huh? Now you’ve got my big brother doing it? Tsk,”</p><p>I can’t contain my elation. I gingerly scoop him into my arms and bury my face in his neck. “Oh… oh my, Arceus, Hop!”</p><p>He chuckles weakly again and puts his arms softly around my back. “I told you I’d come back.”</p><p>“Hop,” I begin, knowing I had to spill everything I have for fear of losing him again, “I love you. I love you to the moon an’ back. You know I’m not great at words, but Hop… thank you so much for always being there for me… for pushing me… you’re the most kind-haerted and baeutiful person I know, and I love you. I love you so, so, so much. I need you, please…please don’t go. Don’t…”</p><p>His hands hold my face, and he looks me over a moment. “I’m always with you, Ghost. I’m never going to leave you. You’re my girl. You’ve always been.”</p><p>I smile sadly, and lean in, lips pressing against his. He pulls me in with all of his might a little tighter, and stifles a cough. It’s not some deeply passionate thing like people see in movies, but its better somehow.</p><p>“I’m right here, for right now, and that’s all I’ve got, Ghost. I hope…I wish that could be enough…” His eyes are tired and sad all at the same time.</p><p>I shake my head. “This is all I’ve ever wanted. I’ve got you.”</p><p>After, I called all his family. They all came to see him, hug him, and let him know that he’s loved. As his mom held him in her lap, playing with his hair, Leon sat at his feet, leaning on his mom’s shoulder. I sit and smile, tears streaming down my face as slowly, Hop breathes, “I’m so tired, mum.”</p><p>She gasps, holding in a sob. “Ah, my little Hopscotch. You deserve a rest, huh? You’ve fought so hard today. We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” It’s a lie. She knows it, too.</p><p>Leon holds Hop’s hand, golden eyes welling with tears. “Get some rest, buddy.”</p><p>He nods, tiredly, and glances at me, offering a hand. I smile and take it, leaning in to kiss his knuckles. “We’ll all be right here, yeah? We love you, Hop.”</p><p>“I love you all, too.”</p><p>With a huff, he falls into a familiar sleep, just as he was before—except this time, he doesn’t wake up again.</p><p> </p><p>
  
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